i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A+ Viking dick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize