Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize