A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
