You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like eating out sand paper
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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