K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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