theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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