dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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