I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
