Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
