Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
