Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
