Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
