You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
