Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
