I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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