My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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