Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
