i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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