note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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