sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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