ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
