should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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