You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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