thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
