Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i have two assholes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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