Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
