So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
