your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
