You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
