Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
