Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize