You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
