About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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