we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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