the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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