"it" just moved
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
