hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
