She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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