Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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