She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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