You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
