we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
