U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
