you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
