11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
