i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
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My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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