I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize