Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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