Hippo gnu deer
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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