woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
