I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
