Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
