I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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