I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My cat gives me a boner
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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