i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
