can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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