on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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