drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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