I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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