You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize