My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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