Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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