So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
