He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
